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The Surreal McCoys say "Thanks, USA!"
Hey America, it's the legendary Surreal McCoys here.
We wanted to take this opportunity to say we love this country. Simply love it.
Sure, there are a few things we need to talk about. Like Crocs, for instance. I mean, really? A grown man wearing Crocs? We're past that as a Nation, aren't we?
And bike helmets on adults in the neighborhood where cars are going 5 mph. Not necessary and, frankly, really uncool.
Also, we hate to be the ones to say it, but it may be time to think about hopping on the treadmill. That's right--it wouldn't kill you to take off a few in the midsection, USA.
But other than that, we have a ton of things to be thankful for. For instance, we're still ranked #1 out of all the countries--Critics and Readers Poll. Plus, we've got Freedom of Speech. The Statue of Liberty. Las Vegas. And, most importantly, we're in no danger of reinstituting Prohibition.
So to say thanks we decided to do a little something for you, America. A concert to say "Thanks USA!"
More specifically, we're doing a concert to benefit ThanksUSA (www.ThanksUSA.org). Seriously.
We're honored to have been invited by ThanksUSA to play the After Party following its benefit concert at the Warner (13th and Pennsylvania Avenue, NW). ThanksUSA is a terrific charity that provides need-based scholarships to the families of active-duty troops. The After Party is a mere $20, and that includes unlimited cocktails and food from Chef Geoff's-- with all proceeds benefitting ThanksUSA.
That's right-- you get to support the troops by rocking out and drinking booze! What could be more American than that?
So come on down and show your patriotism (you ARE a patriot, aren't you?)-- we'd love to see you at both the benefit concert at 7 (featuring musical guests Stephen Cochran and Mylin) and the Surreal McCoys concert on the rooftop at 10!
This glamorous red carpet event will also be the official CD release party for our debut disc, "The Bottle & The Gun." The CD (featuring 14 original songs) will be on sale at the After Party (and afterwards at www.thesurrealmccoys.com), and we are donating a portion of the proceeds from CD sales at the show to ThanksUSA.
And as you've probably read in the press, we WILL be wearing the gold lame' suits on this leg of the tour. Feel free to wear yours.
The ThanksUSA After Party is being generously sponsored by the esteemed Kilpatrick Stockton law firm, and Capitol File magazine will be providing press coverage.
So if you love America and dig the Rock Music, this is the evening for you. Come on down and join us in saying "Thanks USA!"
See you next Saturday,
Erik Huey (aka Cletus McCoy), on behalf of my brothers Billy Saul, Clint, Elvis and Goatboy
The Surreal McCoys
Single White Cowpunk Band Seeks Fan(s) for Long-term Relationship
Do you like music? Do you like liquor? Are you a woman? If you answered yes to any of these questions, perhaps you should meet The Surreal McCoys for coffee, convo, or just no-strings-attached whatever. We can't believe we're actually using a personal ad like this, but you get to a certain time in your life and figure, what the heck? What have we got to lose?
Us: Think of us as a cross between Johnny Cash and the Replacements. And then add a guy. And the guy you add was the guy you wanted to ask you to the Prom, but he asked somebody else. We wear our influences on our sleeve, and then we wipe our nose on that sleeve. Our friends tell us we're good-looking and we're quite a catch. We enjoy playing and listening to both kinds of music - country and punk. Our bar-fighting days are probably behind us, unless that sonofabitch Travis keeps showin...I mean yes, our bar-fighting days are probably behind us. We give wonderful footrubs. We would sincerely love to share all the sensations the Monagangahelalaelala Valley is known for - Steelers games, the world-famous Pittsburgh cheesesteaks, and of course the well-known Morgantown crabcakes.
We believe children are the future.
We are not corporate sell-outs, we are authentic artists who perform for the love of our art. While doing so, we enjoy Woodford Reserve Bourbon - the heat of summer and the cold of the Kentucky winter are the keys when you want a fine whiskey to mature properly, and Woodford Reserve's Master Distiller selects only barrels whose whiskey shows superior maturation qualities. While enjoying a jelly glass of delicious Woodford Reserve bourbon, we read Racer X, the groundbreaking motocross magazine that you will clamor for every month. Every issue of Racer X is packed with race coverage, features, profiles, and personalities. Woodford Reserve and Racer X: proud sponsors of The Surreal McCoys.
Oh, where were we? Right. Enough about us.
You: Open-minded; heavy drinkers and smokers accepted. Ability to dance on stage and play cowbell a plus. You are looking for six soulmates who will fulfill your musical, cultural and spiritual needs, and love you for who you are. Please no fatties.
Let's arrange a get-together. Meet us at one of our upcoming rockshows:
April 10, 2008
1 2 3 Pleasant Street
123pleasantstreet.com/
Morgantown, WV
Tickets : $10
8 p.m.
Let's burn a couch together!
April 12, 2008
Club Café
clubcafelive.com/HTML/home.php
56 S 12th Street
Pittsburgh, PA
Tickets: $12
8 p.m.
Let's get cowpunk'd together!
We hope to see you there, and maybe forge a lifelong relationship. I mean, no promises, but let's keep our options open. No commitment, but, you know. Play it by ear. But we'll always be there for you. Somewhat.
Sincerely,
The Surreal McCoys
Billy Saul, Cletus, Clint, Elvis, Gator, and Goatboy McCoy
Sponsored by Woodford Reserve Bourbon and Racer X Magazine.
Caution: Abnormal vision (color tinge, blurring, sensitivity to light), acid indigestion, flushing, headache, nausea, heart irregularities, dangerous surges in blood pressure and sudden death have all been reported after exposure to the Surreal McCoys. Pregnant women or women who may become pregnant should not handle the Surreal McCoys. Women between the ages of 12 and 60 in close proximity to Goatboy McCoy should avoid eye contact; if Goatboy McCoy has been drinking, avoid ALL contact. If you have experienced the Surreal McCoys for longer than four hours, please consult your physician immediately.
Coming soon: The Bottle and the Gun, the new action-packed, high-fidelity stereo recording from The Surreal McCoys!
Message from 2007:
Dear Surreal McCoys fan:
Remember, from the dim, cloudy fringe of your memory, that dream you had, not so long ago? When you dreamed you were walking along the beach with the Surreal McCoys?
Many scenes from your life flashed across the sky. The Surreal McCoys promised that if you followed them, they would walk with you always. In each scene, you noticed footprints in the sand.
You noticed, however, that during the low periods of your life, when you were suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, you could see only five sets of footprints (and one set of cloven hoof prints) in the sand.
And you asked, "why, when I needed you most, were the Surreal McCoys not there for me?"
Dearest fan, the times that you saw only five sets of footprints (and one set of cloven hoof prints) were the times that the Surreal McCoy carried you. (Get it? Because there are six of us? Anyway, you didn't leave any footprints. Trust us.)
Yes, we carried you. Sure, there may have been some jostling, shifting, and perhaps even inadvertent groping.
But we'd like to get past all that, and take this opportunity to say "you look great; have you lost some weight?" And we're not just saying that.
How can you repay us for carrying you in your darkest hour?
Well, now that you mention it, we're putting on our "Footprints in the Sand: Fall 2k7" edition of our Three Chords and a Cloud of Dust Tour on Thursday, September 20th, at Union Street Station in Traverse City, Michigan and Friday, September 21st at Simeri's Old Town Tap in South Bend, Indiana, the night before the Notre Dame/Michigan State game.
You probably remember that the Surreal McCoys are the top cowpunk band ever to come out of ND Law School. That's right, ever. Think of Johnny Cash crossed with The Clash, with a touch of The Replacements. Drive By Truckers. George Jones. All of those artists, but with more charisma. And charmingly modest. And we're all still alive.
But other than that, really just like Johnny Cash crossed with The Clash –Johnny Clash, if you will - pure Thrash n' Twang.
We'll be playing our mix of originals and cover songs, including the debuts of three brand new, never-before-played-live originals: The Bottle and The Gun, Velvet Rope of Your Heart, and $10 Hooker in a $5 Town.
Here's the info:
Thursday September 20
Union Street Station
Traverse City, MI
117 South Union Street With: The Offramps
8:00 p.m.
Friday September 21
Simeri's Old Town Tap
South Bend, IN
1505 West Indiana Ave.
With: Bryan Bond
8:30 p.m.
In closing, remember that the Surreal McCoys choose to live by the words of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
"Play it Loud, Play it Plowed."
We'll see y'all at the rockshows.
Signed,
Billy Saul, Cletus, Clint, Elvis, Goatboy and Gator
The Surreal McCoys